To Hurt and to Heal
by WildChipmunkofYonder
Summary: Dave Karofsky transfers to get his life together.  He never expected to help someone else along the way.  Dave/Sebastian, one-sided Kurtofsky and Seblaine.  Written before episode 3x14.  Some content could be viewed as dubcon, minor trigger warnings.


He always seemed to like them prissy.

He'd been jealous of Kurt's proud bearing, of his comfort in who he was. He'd watched and wanted his bravery, but it was his catty attitude that always kept Dave up at night, wanting to pin him down and strip him of every belt and designer buckle, have Hummel hissing and clawing in indignity while simultaneously falling apart at the seams. The thought of having prim and proper Kurt, gasping and swearing and bitching under him, got him off harder than anything else ever could.

On the contrary, Kurt's little boy toy drove him crazy, in a not so pleasing manner. Objectively, he could see the appeal in his big brown eyes and pleasant smile. But he was so damned _nice_, polite and gentlemanly to the core. He was the classic romantic, sweeping Kurt off his feet and waxing poetry about his skin, or hair, or even girly ass scarf. It made him a little sick, truth be told. But he was everything Kurt apparently wanted, needed, and so what if it was the complete opposite of Dave?

He'd transferred out of necessity, to put distance between himself and Kurt, and his stupid, angry actions. He needed a new scene, somewhere he wasn't known as The Fury, and beat up nerds and fairies, and even fucking kids in wheelchairs. It felt like taking a fresh breath, and even though he still kept his sexuality under wraps, it was nice to know that he had complete control over when (if) the information came to light. This control, his ability to explore himself without the accusing and tempting eyes of Hummel, gave him a confidence he'd never felt before, a comfort. It gave him the courage to seek out _Scandals_, to find a separate place for him to discover the side of himself he was only just beginning to accept. And for all his worries and initial fear of the patrons (dude, _drag queens_, what the hell), he found, if not quite an Eden, something as close as possible in small town Ohio.

(and if the feather boas weren't that bad, he'd never, ever admit it)

He was so comfortable that one evening, when he glanced over and saw Kurt fucking Hummel sitting at the bar not a foot away from him, he wasn't even that surprised. He'd come to terms with his once-time obsession, and even if his daintily crossed legs and frilly drink made Dave throb just a little with longing, he didn't feel the raw, biting pain he used to. And talking to him and, dare he admit it, comforting him, helped him ease that past chapter of his life fully closed. Lifting his bottle, he toasted Kurt as the boy sashayed away to grab his man, not yet thanking him for the change he'd forced upon Dave, but acknowledging it all the same.

But then that cocky little home-wrecker entered his world and threw everything to hell.

He'd only spared the boy a passing glance with Kurt, intent on his past interest. However, when he sat next to Dave one Friday evening some weeks later, he instantly recognized the preppy polo and smug countenance. And when he bought Dave a beer with a cat-like smile and murmured, "Hey there…", he began to pay attention.

Sebastian turned out to be as big as an asshole as he assumed he would be, leaning into Dave's space and talking about singing and expensive coffee and his previous home in France. He smiled with hooded eyes and traced his fingers over his own beer in what Dave was gradually learning was subtle invitation, and asked polite questions deigned for small talk and formality. He was just angling his body towards the dance floor, mid-question when Dave abruptly stood, Sebastian freezing in calculation and confusion.

"Thanks for the beer, but not interested," Dave said, before tipping his cap at the bar man and walking away. He'd thought everything was settled, and gave the incident no further consideration than to chuckle at Sebastian's shocked, offended face.

So when the boy in question approached him again, he was admittedly surprised.

He hadn't been to _Scandals _in a few weeks, caught up in football practices and college applications (a football recruiter would be coming soon, he had to be prepared). He'd just sat down, waving a hand in greetings to a Tina Turner (Michael, one of the first to affectionately entitle Dave "bear cub") when Sebastian slinked up to him, charming smile in place and top few shirt buttons undone. It was a near exact repeat of their last encounter, except Dave was tired and sore from a tackle taken badly, and just wanted a drink and maybe a chat with Lola (who sold motorcycles and had told Dave that she might have a clunker with his name on it).

"So," he said, interrupting Sebastian's story of which he hadn't been listening, "I'm kinda not in the mood to deal with you right now, so could you just…fuck off? Or something?"

Sebastian raised his hands in front of him, a faux-hurt look on his face. "Hey, what'd I do? I'm just being friendly."

Dave snorted. "Oh yeah, real 'friendly'."

"And what's so wrong with that?" Sebastian asked, irritation starting to cloud his features.

"The part where I'm still not interested," Dave said, starting to leave.

"Hey now, big guy," Sebastian said, putting his hand on Dave's arm. "There's no need for that." He leaned in, voice going just a little deeper in Dave's ear. "I'm just trying to make conversation. I thought we could…," Sebastian's hand slowly slid up to run his fingers along the back of his neck, "…get to know each other."

Dave looked at the handsome boy in front of him blankly. "Yeah, no," he said, going over to Lola and her girlfriend, Sarah, who hugged him while Lola inquired as to whether he wanted a Dragster or a classic Harley. Sebastian gaped at him before storming off, and again Dave didn't think about it. This trend continued several more times, and just as Dave wondered whether he should just switch bars (not that he knew any others, and Donald would kill him if he missed another Cher performance, the whiner), Sebastian played a trump card.

"Dance with me," he murmured into Dave's ear, pressed along his side at the crowded bar.

"Fuck off," said Dave, ready to bring this fucker down once and for all.

"Dance," breathed Sebastian again, "or I'm sure everyone would _love_ to hear about how you used to have a past time beating up queers."

Dave froze, turning a horrified gaze on the smugly smirking boy beside him. "Wha-?"

"I know all your little secrets," he laughed. "How you were a self-hating little coward, too afraid of coming out and knocking Hummel down for merely _breathing_ next to you. How you threatened to kill him. I'm sure all your friends here would be _so_ accepting of you committing a hate crime."

Dave was silent.

"So," Sebastian purred, "how about that dance, big boy?"

Dave numbly let the other boy drag him from the bar. He vaguely noted the thumbs up from Sarah, too busy thinking about Michael's attempted suicide (confessed one night to Dave, who had been still so confused and scared and just a little wild) and the scars on Lola's shoulder from a beer bottle thrown at her when she was seventeen. How almost every person in the bar had had a hateful word thrown at them, shoved and kicked and beaten down by the kind of people Dave used to be. He let Sebastian press against him, twisting into Dave's halfhearted rocking and smiling victoriously into his neck, because he had finally found a sort of family and he didn't want to lose them; to be alone and scared like he used to be.

(later, he would confess all this to Lola and Donald, who would wrap him in their arms and murmur that it was okay, they had all done things they regretted, while he shook and cried, and thanked them, thanked God, and vowed to never, ever be that person again)

He let Sebastian lead him to his car (of course he had a Porsche, how could Dave have thought anything else), shoving him down into the backseat before crawling into his lap. Sebastian kissed him, licking and moaning his way into Dave's mouth, and starting to grind their groins together in a slow, piercing burn that Dave couldn't bring himself to resist. His hands, never feeling so big and clumsy before, gripped shakily onto Sebastian's hips as the other boy twisted his tongue in Dave's inexperienced mouth, even as Dave was slowly beginning to rock back into the other boy's movements. Afterwards, Sebastian licked his swollen lips while kicking Dave out of his car, uttering a soft "Thanks" and driving away as Dave stood ruffled in his damp jeans.

He didn't go to _Scandals_ for two weeks.

When he returned, he entered cautiously, very much aware that Sebastian could have opened his big (wet, hot, _infuriating_) mouth, but was relieved to see that everyone greeted him normally. He was ready for a calm night, so when that hated familiar voice purred "Hey…" he nearly slammed his head on the table in frustration.

"You got what you wanted," Dave spat, whirling on that smarmy face with barely constrained rage. "Leave me alone."

Sebastian laughed, the sound polished and false. "Come on, baby," he purred. "Don't be that way." He dropped into the seat across from Dave, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. "Is this about me taking off? I promise not to run off so quickly next time…unless you wanna chase after me?" His grin was dirty.

Dave didn't know how to respond, so took a drink while turning away in his seat, meaning to ignore the boy across from him. He didn't expect Sebastian to round the table and put himself in Dave's lap, grabbing the beer out of the frozen boy's hands and taking a sip. "Is this about Hummel?" he asked, setting the bottle down behind him. "Sad he wasn't your first?" Sebastian laughed mockingly, tangling his fingers in the back of Dave's hair. "He chose Blaine and that just eats you up inside, doesn't it? That if you weren't such a scared little shit, maybe you could have gotten to him first."

Dave attempted to stand, to throw that arrogant dick (who spoke the _truth_, damn it all) to the floor, but Sebastian gripped the back of his seat and forced him back down with his own body. He used the leverage to bring his mouth to Dave's, kissing him while muttering, "Hummel's a frigid little bitch." He grabbed one of Dave's hands, guiding it under Sebastian's shirt to a warm, toned stomach. "Think he'd let you touch him like this? Think he'd let you paw all over him and his fucking Louis Vuitton jeans?" He ground down, breathing out shakily and god, everybody was watching.

He pulled away, and Sebastian whined, leaning in again but Dave was already standing and Sebastian glared as he nearly stumbled to the ground. His face changed to a leer as he eyed the bulge in Dace's pants, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the men's room. They left an hour later, clothes rumpled and Sebastian smirking at Dave's embarrassed shuffling, both very much aware of the sticky dampness in their boxers. This time, Sebastian pulled him into a kiss before getting in his car, waving his hand condescendingly as he once again drove off into the night. Dave meandered to his own car (on its last leg and damn, Lola had better not have been kidding about that clunker) and contemplated the fuck up his life had become.

These musings never seemed to stop him, though, when Sebastian would slink up to him again and again, smirk in place as much as the day's preppy, designer shirt. He began to pick up small things about the other boy, how he would always snap angrily when anyone touched his hair, how always had a little small talk to make, and how he could take you down with a hidden barb, but always do it with a smile. Sebastian was forward and controlling, but Dave noticed how his breath hitched when Dave used his greater bulk to pin the other boy down. And for all his backhanded insults and mocking attitude, he would always seek out Dave's attention. And as much as he attempted to ignore him, Dave could never really resist.

They were always harsh and quick, grinding into hips or sometimes hands, gasping and battling more than kissing. Sometimes Sebastian was playful, nipping and laughing and smirking, but other times he came in angry, and he would scratch and tear, talking shit and say "You thinking about that whiney little bitch? You think he'd make you cum this hard?" And one day, biting instead of kissing and clawing down his back he snarled, "C'mon," and the next thing Dave knew he was sitting in the passenger seat, pulling up to Dalton. He followed Sebastian to his room and they hurled themselves to the bed, Sebastian on top of him and pulling Dave's shirt above his head.

They'd never done anything in a bed before, nor when there was more than a shirt removed, and Dave's hands shook as pulled down Sebastian's trousers as the other boy whined impatiently into his mouth. He was self-conscious, especially as Sebastian's lean, muscular frame was on display, but Sebastian didn't seem to care, attacking the button to Dave's jeans and nibbling his lower lip. Dave tried to say, "I've never…" but Sebastian rolled his eyes and settled above him, slick fingers already probing at his own entrance as Dave gaped and tentatively touched the other boy's erection. He rolled a condom on awkwardly and Sebastian slicked him, before he grabbed Dave by the shoulders and sank down, pulling similar moans from the both of them.

Dave tried to be still, tried to calm the other boy's shaking, but he merely growled in response before lifting himself and setting a fast pace that blew Dave's mind apart. "You like that? Huh?" he breathed into Dave's gasping mouth. "Love me riding you, love me taking you apart. You think that little shit could do this to you? Think he'd take your cock and fucking _own it_," he groaned, twisting his hips in small circles, and Dave didn't know what his dick was hitting to make Sebastian sound like _that_, but he sure as hell hoped to find it again. He did, and Sebastian crumpled above him, moaning into Dave's chest and he didn't think before wrapping his arms around him and rolling them over.

"What the hell are you-" Sebastian tried to say, before Dave kissed him and pinned his hands down, settling on his knees and beginning to _thrust_. Sebastian cried out below him, twisting in his hold, and words that Dave never thought would leave his own lips began to tumble out of him without his control.

"You think you own me? You think you've got me tied around your little finger?" he bit Sebastian's neck, hard. "You want me hot for you, want me to want you like _Blaine_ never has." Sebastian tried to lash out, snarl on his lips, but Dave held him firm. "You're just a jealous little shit. Must drive you crazy that for all you've tried, _Kurt got there first_. And there's _nothing_ you can do about it."

Sebastian yowled below him, trying to hit him, to claw at him, to cover his ears against the words he knew were true. He contorted and struggled but Dave kept him pinned, hips snapping in a quick tempo that matched their furious heartbeats. And eventually the yelling turned to groaning, and gasping, and in a few more thrusts Sebastian arched below him, coating their stomachs in his release. And if he cried just a little as Dave finished above him, they both ignored it.

Eventually, breathing finally calmed and covers twisted around them, Sebastian turned to look at him, eyes a little red and face the most vulnerable thing Dave had ever seen. "We can't have them," he said, voice gone low and hoarse. "We'll never _fucking_ get them."

"Yeah," Dave said, twisting a hand through Sebastian's hair without complaint and pulling him forward for a gentle, soothing kiss. "But we'll just have to get someone else instead."

Sebastian looked at him, face still jagged and hurting, before he exhaled a shaky and final "Okay." He laid his head on Dave's shoulder, tucking his face under the other boy's jaw. Dave roped an arm around him and pulled him close, and they stayed wrapped around each other for a long, long time. In the morning, Sebastian drove him back to _Scandals_ to get Dave's car, and Sebastian was the one to stand alone as Dave drove away.

They didn't see each other for the rest of high school. Dave was recruited for Ohio State and his year ended in a rush of celebrations and minor nostalgia. He went about college simply and happily, and found that as every day went by he felt a little more that he was what he was supposed to be, and was not afraid. And in his junior year, when a arrogant yet soft voice asked, "This seat taken?" when he was studying in the library, he was not at all surprised.


End file.
